Its being almost 6 month since I came back from UK. Those days being hard and tough for me. I had shut down people around me during that time. I didn't contact anyone, message, whatsApp or wishes happy birthday to my best friends and friends. I know I am a very bad bad friend. But there are nothing I can do, I even don't went outside meet others. I stay inside of my house during these days. Even the worst thing, I did was I went to the kitchen, wanted to put a knife to kill myself but thank you Allah my older sister came and slap me to stop myself from doing this stupid things.
I really don't know what I am thinking that time. I felt very angry and mad to myself. I kept on blame myself for the things that happen. Everything was blur and very hard for me, I cannot sleep and I kept on crying to myself every night before I went to bed. All I remember I never tell anyone how I felt, what actually happen to myself. How bad the pain inside me only Allah knows. All I know I must put on a smile on my face every single day not to let my family and others know. I believe they are very sad and frustrated for what happen.
All I can said is that I am only a human and nobody is perfect. We all keep on making mistake every single days and I don't blame them for what happen. It's all my fault and I kept these words in my head that " Failure is one step toward success. " Yet the most important is to accept what had happen, I need to redha because " There's always a reason for things that happen and Allah knows best. "
All I can said is that I am only a human and nobody is perfect. We all keep on making mistake every single days and I don't blame them for what happen. It's all my fault and I kept these words in my head that " Failure is one step toward success. " Yet the most important is to accept what had happen, I need to redha because " There's always a reason for things that happen and Allah knows best. "
From that moment, I know I need someone help but I can't talk, there no words came out from my mouth and I did try to text to my friend by message to them but I can't press the Send Button. Soon, I end up turn myself away. I don't know why my heart was totally cold and hard to share and to open up to let others in. Oh god I really don't know myself anymore. haaaaaa....so stressful.
6 There are 6 of us ( not included both my grandmothers )
My oh my
Only I myself can do it
New hope and dream
To overcome this
Hide all suddenness and move on.
p/s : Please don't get too sad or else your heart will get hurt.
Keep calm and Keep moving forward.
6 There are 6 of us ( not included both my grandmothers )
My oh my
Only I myself can do it
New hope and dream
To overcome this
Hide all suddenness and move on.
p/s : Please don't get too sad or else your heart will get hurt.
Keep calm and Keep moving forward.
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