Mein Life - 6 Months

Dear Diary,

Its being almost 6 month since I came back from UK. Those days being hard and tough for me. I had shut down people around me during that time. I didn't contact anyone, message, whatsApp or wishes happy birthday to my best friends and friends. I know I am a very bad bad friend. But there are nothing I can do, I even don't went outside meet others. I stay inside of my house during these days. Even the worst thing, I did was I went to the kitchen, wanted to put a knife to kill myself but thank you Allah my older sister came and slap me to stop myself from doing this stupid things.

I really don't know what I am thinking that time. I felt very angry and mad to myself. I kept on blame myself for the things that happen. Everything was blur and very hard for me, I cannot sleep and I kept on crying to myself every night before I went to bed. All I remember I never tell anyone how I felt, what actually happen to myself. How bad the pain inside me only Allah knows. All I know I must put on a smile on my face every single day not to let my family and others know. I believe they are very sad and frustrated for what happen.

All I can said is that I am only a human and nobody is perfect. We all keep on making mistake every single days and I don't blame them for what happen. It's all my fault and I kept these words in my head that " Failure is one step toward success. " Yet the most important is to accept what had happen, I need to redha because " There's always a reason for things that happen and Allah knows best. " 

From that moment, I know I need someone help but I can't talk, there no words came out from my mouth and I did try to text to my friend by message to them but I can't press the Send Button. Soon, I end up turn myself away. I don't know why my heart was totally cold and hard to share and to open up to let others in. Oh god I really don't know myself anymore. haaaaaa....so stressful.


6 There are 6 of us ( not included both my grandmothers )
My oh my
Only I myself can do it
New hope and dream
To overcome this
Hide all suddenness and move on.

p/s : Please don't get too sad or else your heart will get hurt.
       Keep calm and Keep moving forward.

24

Yeay today is my birthday...!!
Yum Yum Yum...the cake looks so delicious..
Mesti sedap ini...haha ( mesti la because my sister and me kept on fighting to get the best part of the cake. )

Alhamdulillah Allah masih panjangkan umur saya...
Feeling so bless got to celebrate with my family ( even not everyone is here but at least I'm not celebrate it alone just like last year.. )

Nothing much to say but I would to wish myself all the best this year...
Hoping so much I get offer from any local university soon...aamiin
So stay strong and never give up.. :)

Homemade cake by Mama

7 Days left to Bye Bye Memories

Dear Diary,

Today will be to be my last night in York, UK. There are no words that I can express how I feel deep inside my heart. One year that being run so fast and I still remember how its feel like when I first came to UK. A lot of sweet and bad memories but mostly there are all memories that I will always treasure them all my life. Unforgettable experience and dreams. Wonderful friends and professors . Beautiful city and university. Just wow..syukur Alhamdulillah being bless with these opportunity. Having one part of my dreams to see the different side of the world, meet new people and experience new cultures. 

#Thank you Allah for this once in a lifetime opportunity. 

P/s: Keep Calm and Smile Always. 

I'm only human

Dear Diary,

I miss you and I'm sorry, I know its been awhile that I have not update anything. Please don't get mad okay. (lol people might think I'm crazy now). Life is hard and they are very tough lately, my life, my studies, myself and people around me. I keep on making mistake by hurting myself and also others. My oh my I really hate my life right now. Everything maybe look fine outside but deep inside only Allah knows best.

Why because I'm only human, someone that always forget and keep on making mistake. Sometime we maybe thought we're right, yes we always do and I believe most probability everyone will never say that they're wrong but somehow you should always remember that Allah is always right.

So do in life, you should always say to yourself that every time we did something wrong to others, always and always remember that you have to forgive them first, huh? Seriously? Yup, truth but saying I'm sorry is never be so easy, its hard and yet sometime quite shameful to say that to them but again no matter what whether they're the one that started it or you yourself is the problem. Believe me, after you have said those 2 words "I'm Sorry", InsyaAllah your heart, your mind and your soul will always in good mood aka. calm. But if they cannot forgive us don't worry Allah always forgive you but remember you have to keep on pray to Allah.


Human always make mistake
U all know that and will always do
My Oh My
Always forgive and forget
N that's the end.

I think I'm crazy

Sarangae

Sarangae

Sarangae

I think I'm crazy

I'm damm lonely 

I'm lonely without love

Truly deep in my heart I miss my memories

I miss everything a lot

But I don't know what

Maybe I just miss people around me

My family, My hometown, My childhood, My another half??

I'm lonely

I'm sad

I'm felling less

My heart empty  

Talk to me

Wake me up 

Give me love

I think I'm crazy

Sarangae

Sarangae

Sarangae

I Really Miss My Family

Dear Diary,

Again its being a long time tak update this blog, entah la this lately I don't think that me myself is here, :'(  I really miss my family so badly...I miss my Malaysia so much especially my home sweet home and my mama's food.. Being here is so tough and I lied to myself so much by said that I am strong and I kept telling to myself that can do this and I can do that..but honestly I can't do anything.

My Meine Familie

I'm 23rd now

Dear Diary,

Syukur Alhamdulillah, its 8 January 2013, I celebrating my 23rd birthday today, so

Happy Birthday To Me!!

Happy Birthday To Me!!

Happy Birthday To Me!! 

hehe...so May Allah bless you my dear and all the best..Love ya...